"Sin-cerely Sin-sational" - A Devotional

My Father,

I want to be good. Good naturally. Naturally good. This is impossible. My nature is naturally wicked. Who is good? Only the Lord is good. Do I accept my wickedness as I wait on the Holy Spirit to purify me? No. I hate the sin that is natural in me.

Are some born more evil than others? Isn’t the greatest evil to reject the leading of the Holy Spirit to believe in Jesus Christ? Even this, I have done. ..Is not the next greatest evil the refusal to give my life completely to the one who saved me?

To not love and obey in response to His love, is to me the standard whereby I know that I am not sanctified completely.  I despise that I am not perfect in love and obedience. Yet, His love and grace sustains me from hopelessness in this body of sin. I know that I do love, though so imperfectly, and that by the grace and the love He pours into me.

How do I live in peace with God and self when I know that who he desires me to be - and who I want to be for his sake and the sake of others - I am not? To be imperfect before a perfect God is a most humbling place of trust.

You will not reject me, or cast me out because I am a sinner. No. You pour out more grace upon me to purify me. (Why are you downcast, oh my soul? Praise Him because He has rescued you!) You love the unlovable. You wash away my filth like a tender Shepherd cleansing the mud off a lamb who has fallen into a pit. Tenderly, you nurse me from my soul’s sickness into freedom and truth.

What must I do to let you love me? I must believe that you love me as I am. I must accept that you have forgiven me all the sins of the past. I must believe that with man it is impossible to obey God and love Him perfectly. But with God, it is possible.

I yearn, my Father, to make you proud of me! I yearn, my Father, to be your “good little child”.  Hear my heart, hear my soul which cannot speak clearly these anguishes of my spirit.

I trust my heart to you...In His Name...